Shots making bubba sick

I am home from work today because little man has been running a fever since last night. He gets so hot and uncomfortable I feel so bad for him. He is taking motrin ever 4 hrs so he doesnt get a fever, apparently this is normal after his shots but Ive never had to experience it so I feel bad for him. Hes my lil one, I dont want him to feel sick. He is currently taking a cat nap so I figured I would update. He should be feeling better by tomorrow I am hoping. Well everyone have a good day ;o)

NEW CAMERA!!! ;o)

Sitting up like a big boy
They love each other so much
ahhh cute boy

still happy even with a fever of 100 degrees

6 Mon check-up

Well, we had Ethan's 6 month check-up today and everything is good. He is now 14 lbs 12 oz and 24 1/4 inches long thats awesome compared to what we started with 1 lb 15 oz and 13 1/2 inches long. He is doing everything that a 3 month old baby should be doing and somethings that a 6 month old can do, which is completely normal he is 3 months old corrected age so as long as he does what his corrected age should be doing then he doesnt need to see a physical therapist. The main things that he is behind in is rolling completly over, sitting without help, and eating solids. The Dr said we can move him up and feed him cereal 2-3x a day now as well as he had apple juice the other day(very very diluted apple juice) lol but he loved it. He thought it was so good and didnt even make any funny faces. So now for lunch he is going to start having cereal and 2 oz of apple juice. ;o) He also had to get 3 shots it made mommy sad, I almost cried. Ethan got his 1st swimming pool this weekend, we are going to use it this weekend when it warms up abit, the hose water is COLD. I have good news I got a new CAMERA!!! I will post a few pics from today when we were just playing around. Everything else is going good, I cant wait for my 3 day weekend for 4th of July plus it will be Ethan's 1st so I will have many pics ;o) See pics to follow

Summer Fun....

Happy boy @ the park
Eating a snowcone
Relaxin in his raft
Ahh sleepy boy in the pool
He loved his crab raft

Bubba is trying to grow teeth!!

Ethan has been being very cranky lately, slobbering, and trying to gum his nipples, so yesterday Shauna looked into this mouth and he has 2 teeth on the bottom trying to poke thier way thru. YEAH!!!! So we went and bought him teething rings, but he doesnt know how to bring toys to his mouth yet so we have to hold them for him ;o) Im not sure how long it will take his teeth to come in but thats the best new I have! My lil man is growing up. He is also about to be moved into 3-6 month clothes, and is still eating cereal 1-2x a day. Shauna is working mroe hours, and Im the same ol same ol. I always cant wait until the weekend to spend time with family & friends. Ethan goes to the Dr on monday so I will be posting all of his info and stats! ;o) Well night all...here are a few pics from this past weekend @ a BBQ and father's day (for grandpa & uncle)

Today is much better

I woke up next to my smiling handsome man(Ethan) and he just melts my heart each time. Shauna is now sleeping because she just got off work an hr ago, and Im off to watch alittle tv, and do laundry. We have a BBQ to go to today so me and bubba will be getting ready for that as well. Everyone have a great weekend!!!

Some thoughts of Evan, Im having a bad night

I just need to kinda vent, not really looking for any answers but just need to get it all out. Im still so so sad and miss my precious angel so much. Sometimes I do so good but other times like right now I cant seem to keep myself together. I seem to miss him more when Im stressing about other things, which seems to happen alot lately so I am constantly thinking of him and missing him so so much!! I know he is watching over me and I hate that he has to see me cry cause I know that he would want me to be happy, that he is looking over me and that he loved me so so much to bless my Ethan with a forever guardian angel.

I look at his brother and think so much about how he would be progressing and how I just want to hold him one more time, and never let him go. Its not the same holding a cold silver cross with him inside it, I want to hold my warm precious baby in my arms, I want to take pics of my "Twins" side by side, I never will ever get a pic like that. I want ppl to understand how much I am hurting and how certain things bother me, but I dont want to say anything I just want them to know. I hate telling a story about seeing twin boys around my boys age, and having ppl say ahhh but what do they really mean?? Do they even know how anxious that made me inside and how in the middle of the store I just wanted to ball because I didnt have my boys, but I did have my precious Ethan looking at me smiling.

My work yesterday posted an email about a lady that lost her son and for all of us to pray for her, yet there was never an email posted about me there was never words of prayer for me why was she so much better than I was, so I still to this day have to deal with 1 person not knowing the story at least once a week and saying " oh how are the twins?" or when ppl ask how I am usually Im ok but if i look like Im having a bad day dont ask how I am because u really dont want to know. There is a part of me that feels so empty, and even thought I love Ethan so so much, that is a hole that will never be filled, no matter what. Its the worst feeling in the world. The worst thing that anyone can experience, I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I just want to see his smiling face, his chubby cheeks, and hear his little voice, smell him when he gets out of the bath.. and I CANT!!!

I still dont understand y me??? y was I so lucky that God had to take my baby from me?? y me, y me, y me???? I just want all the memories to stay in my head but I dont want to hurt anymore, I know I will always hurt because I cared that much for my precious angel. Sometimes I feel so lost. I dont want ppl to think I need meds because I am still so upset I just need time, alot of time, for my heart to heal!! Thank u for listening!!!

God Bless you Evan, Mommy is very proud of you!!!

New Pics

Happy boy
Sucking his thumb while hes sleepin
Big boy swinging in his swing
Happy in his bassinet, Good Morning!
Mommy stop taking pics of me

Posting again after lil man is sleepin

We still dont have a new camera, so Im still bummed. ;o( We've been doing good, same ol same ol. We are going to a BBQ with family this weekend and spending fathers day with Shauna's Dad, Bob, and our brother in law, mike. That should be fun, but no pics ;o( GRRRRRR!!! Shauna & I are going to get married sometime this month or next month and Im super excited to finally become a Williams, with my wife & sons. We are just going to have it at the courthouse with a witness, but then we are going to throw a party at our house to have all our friends and family celebrate with us.!! Im so happy! Bubba is doing good, eating cereal still and not much has changed he might have a little cold right now he has the sniffles and a lil cough from time to time. He has a Dr appt in 2 wks and Ill post an update then as well. Well Im going to bed Im tired, here are some pics from my cell phone of bubba....look how big hes growing!!

Updating @ 1245am....

Obviousily I am always busy and had to wait til after midnight before I was able to update my blog. I feel like my life never stops Im always on the go ahha, guess thats what a mommy feels like! Ethan is going awesome he is now 14 lbs and is 23in long. He is still eating cereal 1x a day at night before bed and he is now sleeping thru the night well at least 8 hrs anyway. from 9-10pm to 5ish am. Next week I am going to start him on cereal 2x a day, because my July I think Im going to start at least 1 type of baby food. He is so close to laughing and we just cant wait to hear him. Im really SAD & BUMMED that my camera is broken and we have to buy a new 1 so right now I cant take any pics of him ;o( We also had a breakdown the other day thinking about Evan and how much we miss him and we realized we would rather have ppl bring him up and have us be a little teary eyed then to not talk about him at all because then we assume they forgot or dont care. We miss him so so much and sometimes it feels like it isnt getting any easier and other times I think abotu him in happy thoughts and think wow what ablessing that he gave my his brother! Shauna is finally done with school Im so proud of her for finishing and doing as well as she has. I love you babe! Well I think I need to go to bed, because i know littl eman will be waking up about 5 to eat so I need to catch some Zzzzzz before he wakes up haha. Good night everyone and I will try my hardest to post more often!! I need a new camera ;o(

Nothing new.....

Well Im sick and didnt go to work today, I am so tired and dont feel good about to go lay down and wait til my hunny comes home. Not much has happened lately, the wedding was fun we had a blast! Dawn looked beautiful and Donald looked handsome. We missed Ethan so so much, and were so happy to come home and see him., I dont have any pics up yet because the camera is broken and I need to get the prints printed instead of uploaded onto the computer. Ethan laughed for the 1st time, but it was in his sleep. He does alittle small laughs but we are waiting to here him laugh continuously. Im going to go now, Im just tired!! Will post new updates later ;o)

very cute for Evan!

Evan, mommies love you oh so much, and we miss you more and more each day! I know you are watching over us, and keeping your brother safe. We wish you were here thought more than anything in this world, if there was anything I could take back and do so you could be here with me I would. You mean the world to us and we never ever want you to forget that. Your brother is getting big, and when we look at him we think about you and think how much we miss u! Evan you are truely our very very special SON, and we will never forget you!! Evan, We love you!!!