Well the time has come that my precious little baby is going to be 18 months old, 1 and 1/2 yrs OMG!!!! Where has the time gone?!?! I ask myself all the time what happened to my little baby, where mommy's little boy ;o( Well I guess hes not that little anymore, and sure I can still cuddle with him but hes becoming so much more independent!!!! Pushing my hand away when he want to tell me he doesnt want my help, walking around the house like he doesnt want me to carry him anymore, and feeding himself because mommy just doesnt do it right. Yep thats my BIG boy!!!
As I look back and think about the last 2 years, it was only 6 days from now that we tried to conceive our little man, and it worked the 1st time. Then to be blessed with twins, oh my! What did god have in store for us we thought. The pregnancy was hard and painful but worth every minute of it. The 1st time we heard their heartbeats, the 1st time they kicked me, the 1st time Shauna saw them kick! There were so many 1st time , yet their were also so many things I wish never happened. I know everything happens for a reason and I have come to terms with that but its days like this, when I look back at all that Ethan has become and cant help but think what would Evan have been doing as well. I remember the cat like cry my little man made as he came out and how he never had a bad day in the NICU just to prove all of those nurses wrong who told mommies he would. He got to come home on my b-day how cool is that. We watched him learn how to drink from a bottle, grab at his toys, eat baby food, sit up, crawl, and now oh my walking. It seems like just yesterday when I was holding his 2lb body and praying to god to keep him here with me. I guess god did have a plan for us, he wanted us to enjoy the motherhood of twins but only in the womb. Feel the pain, sorrow, joy, hate, love, rejoice, resentment, and so much more in a single day. He wanted us to love a little person so much that words cant even describe how much we love him; and he wanted to prove to us that no matter how many kids we have angels or living that we are awesome mommies and should be very proud of what we have accomplished and become so far.
Ethan is an amazing little boy!! He has soooooo many people that love him so much and if you looked at him today you would have no idea that just 1 yr and 6 months ago he was born 1 lb 15 0z. He has learned so much in such a short period of time and will continue to grow and learn as each day passes. He is my pride, my joy, my everything and without him in my life I wouldnt be the person I am today. He has taught me so much about myself and about others in my life. Who is important to me and who I can kick to the curb. No matter how bad of a day I have I can walk through that door and he will put a smile on my face from ear to ear! ;o) He knows how to make mommies laugh and of coarse how to push mommies buttons. We have such a long journey ahead of us and I love waking up each day to see what today will bring. I love you Ethan!!
Evan you are my knight in shining angel from above. You have made mommy become so strong!! I know when to be weak and when to just love you for you. There is not a day that goes by that I dont look at you, up there in a picture frame next to your brother and all your angels. You are truly the light in my eye and the tear upon my face. You brighten up my day and make me believe that no matter what happens in this world you will always be looking down upon us and holding your wings around us, embracing us in your safety. I love you very very much and cant believe that it was this day the 18th 1 yr and 6 months ago that you decided your time was finished here on Earth and in mommy's belly and it was now time for mommies to meet you and your brother. Thank you for making me so strong!! I know I need all the strength I can get with your crazy brother around lol ;o) I love you my precious son!
Time goes by so quickly and in the blink of an eye it is a new year, new things happening, and new beginning starting or stories just becoming more chapters to my novel of life. Life goes on in times of crisis, people are there in times of need, you can cry when you need to be sad, and laugh when you need to be happy. All in all the things we do each day make us a better person for tomorrow. I love my boys with all my heart and look forward to each upcoming day with my precious BIG boy bubba ;o) Good night all xoxoxo ♥
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