Recently I have been going thru the what if's again. I periodically do this to myself and Im sure its only human of me; about a week ago I found myself thinking what if when Im in random places. Such as what if both boys were here at the park with me, would they be running in different directions so mommy couldnt keep up and what if I was taking both boys to daycare as they try to convince me not to. Little things like this make me smile but also make me have that oh so bittersweet feeling. Do not get me wrong I love Ethan with every being in my body, but I love Evan in a different way that is totally undescribable. I usually go about every 4-5 months before i start going thru an episode of sad, mad, emotional feelings. Looks like right now is that time again. However I couldnt begin to image how I would keep up with 2 toddlers asking me "why" and "no mommy" lol So I just wanted to spend a quick second thinking of my angel watching over us and how he has blessed my little family so much, keeping us safe and watching over Ethan as he grows older. Ethan is getting to that stage where I am starting to show him pictures of his brother and on occassion if I ask him who it is, he will say "brodder" (brother) To conclude my Evan moment, I dont want this to be emotional just a little note that Im thinking of you every day and will never ever forget you in any way possible. Mommy ♥'s you Evan!!!
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