He is my little angel and I cant help but to think about him all the time. I miss him so very much and wish that there was something I could have done to keep him here with us. You never realize until it happens to you, but I have such an empty whole inside now where he was and all I can do is think about him and tell myself that everything happens for a reason. I know that he was smaller and there could have been a lot of complications if he would have made it, but now that I don't have him here with me, I don't care what would have been wrong I still would have loved him just the same. I know I'm not suppose to blame myself and I don't but I have so many feelings inside that I just feel so lost sometimes. I know he is looking down on us and making sure that his brother is safe, but that's not enough. I want him here with me. I get so jealous when I see other people with twins, or when I hear other people talking about them. Why couldn't I keep my twins? Why do people in this world drink, do drugs and much more and still have healthy babies? but I was so healthy and keep my boys so safe while they were in my belly and I couldn't keep them both. Why do people get pregnant then go an have an abortion when there are people in this world that cant get pregnant, and people that loose their babies? UGGGHHHH I cant stand all of you people. I want my little boy here with me. I love him so much and I always will love him and think about him everyday. I know he is Ethan's Guardian Angel and I thank him so much for all that he has done for Ethan this far. Evan, Mommies love you so so much and there will be a time that we will be up there with you but now and for many more years to come we will be right here taking care of your brother. I love you!!! RIP Evan Michael Williams!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment